my vulva is pulsing
my breath short
anticipating something
prowling
wanting to destroy
wanting to consume
To pounce
To capture
To devour
To maim, to kill, to destroy
I’m hungry, hungry for love
the pain of being held in this cage
the pain of having been small all my life
friendships, friendships, always friendships
that placate, that please, that numb
that form a veil behind which I pretend you don’t exist
This part of me that is so fierce it cannot be contained
This part of me that is so angry that it is scary
This part of me that is so raw that it is shameful
This part of me that does not know how to relate
that can only destroy
This part of me if I leave unguarded will overcome
overshadow and consume everything
Help me, help me reach you
help me to see beyond the anger into the anguish
the anguish of not be allowed to survive
How do I hold you
How do I comfort you
how do I love you
how do I accept you unconditionally
how do I integrate you as my own divine spark
I want to hold you in my arms and calm your ravaged body
I want to hold you in my arms and tell you
it’s ok to be you
it’s ok to be you
it’s ok to be you
I love you and I’m becoming strong for you
I’m going to love you and hold you so tight that we become one
Oh this pain of separation
This pain of rejection
This pain of never being good enough, never measuring up, of never taking my rightful place, or my rightful size
1min
So what do I sacrifice?
What is an adequate offering that will please you
Let me just stay still and get to know you
Let me love you like I’ve never loved you
Let me know that I’m ok, that I’m enough, that I’m more than enough
It is enough for me to sit here and get to know you better
It is enough that I can draw and write and ramble mindlessly
and in this rambling, I make love to you
I kiss you I welcome you, I love you
My body is for you to inhabit, for you to make your own
My body is our playground
My body is our boudoir
My body is our body
As we rejoice in it and surround ourselves with things of beauty and life
We become beauty and life
There is no beauty without you
There is no life without you
You are ok
You are more than ok
You are everything
Brinda Jacob-Janvrin
Blog
Eros & the Deep Feminine
Brinda Jacob Janvrin in conversation with Avinash Veeraraghavan on Eros and the Deep FeminineBlog
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